North Star
by Loressar
Summary: Leah and Alistair pairing, set during and shortly after Breaking Dawn. From Leah's perspective. Complete.
1. Chapter 1

**North Star**  
A Twilight Fan Fiction

Loressar

Usually, walking around Bloodsucker Palace in my human form was the last thing I wanted to do, right after walking around Bloodsucker Palace, period. Since Jacob, Seth, and I had formed our pack of three, I'd hardly phased out of wolf form at all if I could help it. Life had actually gotten close to decent. I was Jacob's second-in-command. He and I were getting along pretty well. Seth accepted my leadership with as much annoying cheerfulness as he accepted everything else in life. Even Quil and Embry…I wouldn't say we were friends, but we had a good working relationship. I wasn't the girl who ruined their lives by crashing their precious boy's club anymore.

And then the Leech Convention came to town. Jacob abruptly abandoned his post as Alpha of our pack to be full-time nanny to his little mutant imprintee. He tried to leave the pack under my command; I'll give him credit for that much. But whether it was a matter of genetics or my own lack of confidence or who knows what, I couldn't function as Alpha. I couldn't compel my pack to do a damn thing. They were obeying me, but because Jacob had ordered it, not because I had. Jacob and I held a conference, just the two of us in human form, to work out a solution. There were no good ones, so we picked the least bad one.

Seth, Quil, Embry, and I were assigned to Sam's pack until further notice.

Thankfully, it wasn't quite as bad as the last time. I was finally starting to get over Sam, or at least I was starting to _want_ to get over him. Still, hearing your ex-boyfriend remembering a warm, fuzzy Hallmark moment with his new bride who happens to be your best friend isn't the most fun thing in the world. I was fine, though. I could deal with it. Sam and I were ancient history. I was Beta of my own pack. I…

In a corner of a stray image of Sam's happy home, I heard the thought in his mind, _So much better for me than Leah after all_.

I phased before I could think. I had to be alone with my thoughts. Running blindly, I pulled on the cargo shorts and jogging bra I always wore strapped to my wolf leg. _Better for me than Leah_. Of course Emily was better for him than me. Emily was on cloud nine keeping her little fairy tale cabin while her knight in shaggy armor was off doing his thing. I'd visited her there a few times with the rest of the pack. Every time it was like a scene out of a freaking Disney movie. I'd keep waiting for bluebirds to land on her shoulder while she set a pie (the tenth she'd baked that day) in the window to cool or something. And then I'd wonder what bluebird tasted like to a wolf.

Before I knew it, I was in front of Bloodsucker Palace. I must have been awfully distracted not to have been repelled by the scent sooner. However, the fact that I hadn't eaten all day made the smell of food even more powerful to me than the vampire stench. I heard Rosalie in the kitchen muttering something to herself about having to feed the dog, and how if she'd wanted a pet she would have gone to the pound. So Rosalie was surely the only one in the kitchen, which was a good thing for me at the moment. I'd rather deal with her than Esme or Alice, or most definitely Bella. I didn't like Rosalie and she didn't like me, but we had a comfortable acceptance of our enmity.

I slipped in the back and slinked into the kitchen as quietly as possible. Didn't want to alarm the houseful of leeches, even though they knew the place was crawling with werewolves.

"Hey, bitch," said Rosalie, her voice unaffected by the clothespin theatrically perched on her nose.

"That was so funny the first ten times," I said sarcastically. "I hope you made enough for two."

"What do I look like, a maid at a pet hotel?" she shrugged. "Get your own lunch. Esme has made it abundantly clear that all our facilities are at your disposal – fridge, stove, oven," she looked me up and down disdainfully, "clothing, showers, bathtubs, soap."

"I might just take you up on that," I said as I raided the refrigerator, mentally blocking out the neat stack of blood bags as I pulled out the makings of a monster sub sandwich. "I can't come within a hundred feet of this house without getting your vampire stink all over me. Last time I was here, it took me an hour to wash the smell out of my hair."

"That's saying a lot," Rosalie said with mock sympathy as she flipped her long, golden curls behind her shoulder.

"A pixie cut is considered very chic and feminine by people native to this century," I retorted, right before taking a huge bite out of my sub.

"Well, women in this century are embracing all kinds of things that my generation never dreamed of," Rosalie sighed in resignation. "In my world, we knew a woman was a woman and a man was a man."

"Well, in my world, a woman is a bitch and a man is a dog," I growled. Unceremoniously, I took my sandwich and left the kitchen. I started to head outside, but then it occurred to me that someone from the pack might come looking for me. I stayed against the wall avoiding the crowd of vampires as best as I could, making my way toward the stairs. Not the grand staircase that Bella, Vampire Princess had descended at her wedding. There were vampires standing around all over that one. Instead I found a smaller, less conspicuous staircase that I'd seen in Jacob's memory. It was vampire-free, though the smell was as pungent (or should I say repugnant?) here as in the rest of the house. On the second floor, I could still hear and smell vampires all over the place, so I followed more stairs to an attic.

I opened a door in the ceiling at the top of the staircase, revealing a dark windowless room that could easily have been a small museum. There was a string hanging above me that would have turned on a light bulb, but I didn't bother pulling it. Even in my human form, I had awesome night vision. Satisfied that I was alone, I closed the trapdoor behind me, hoping to block out the vampire smell. No such luck. Oh well.

"What are you and why are you in the attic?" A deep, irritated voice in a British accent sent me high enough in the air to hit my head on the ceiling. The fact that my sandwich remained intact in my hand was a testament to how famished I was.

"What are _you_ doing in the attic, you stupid, sneaking vampire bat?" I groaned as I turned to face my intruder. He looked like any other leech boy – tall, pale, red eyes, disgustingly good hair. He looked young, too, about the same age as Carlisle. What was with all these vampires not looking a day over thirty? Did teens and twenty-somethings taste better than old people, or what?

"Trying to get a moment's privacy in this madhouse," he grumbled.

"Well, that's all I'm trying to do too, and I think I have more of a claim to the place than you do since my brother practically lives here." I was thinking of Jacob, not Seth. "Brother" was as good a word as any to describe our relationship to an outsider.

"The Indian werewolf," he acknowledged, unimpressed.

"Do you know any other kind?" I snarked.

"I'm English," he replied, as though that should explain everything even to an idiot like me.

"And I'm hungry," I answered in kind, taking a seat on Rosalie's hope chest.

"As if you would shift in a space like this," he scoffed.

"I meant this," I waved my sandwich at him right before I took a small bite. I always ate in small, dainty bites these days. Overcompensating for the wolf thing, I guess. As soon as I swallowed, I continued, "Besides, we don't eat vampires. We just execute them."

"In other words, unlike ours, your hunting has no utilitarian purpose," he replied. He obviously wasn't trying to engage me in conversation; he just couldn't resist the urge to point out his supposed superiority. "We hunt to nourish ourselves. You hunt merely for sport."

"We hunt your kind to protect human lives," I snarled.

"Which has all the morality of a true wolf killing a human to protect his fellow wolves," he argued. "Whereas, whatever Carlisle and his 'family' might tell you, my kind killing a human for food is no less moral than a human killing whatever beasts you're currently stuffing down your throat."

"This was a turkey," I said before continuing said stuffing. "You can't compare it to a human life. Trust me, my mom tried raising turkeys once. Those things were so stupid, by the time we butchered them we felt like we were doing them and the rest of the world a favor."

"And you can't see how a member of a superior sentient race could possibly feel the same way about humans?" he rolled his eyes disdainfully.

"What I can't see it why you're still here," I muttered, this time not even waiting to swallow.

"I have no need to leave. You eventually will. And then I will have my solitude back."

"Eventually," I agreed, now nibbling with exaggerated slowness.

"Don't you have a counterpart somewhere to occupy your every spare moment, like your brother and the reason for my summoning?" he asked impatiently.

"No," I said indifferently.

"Really?" he said snidely. "I would think imprinting would be even more pronounced in a female werewolf, given the natural tendencies of your sex even in mere humans. The oak and the vine, as the poets say."

"I don't read poetry. It's not my taste."

"I had quite a taste for poets once," he sighed fondly. "Ah, Keats!" I felt sick to my stomach as I realized that was the same sigh my dad used to make after an exceptionally satisfying batch of fried fish.

"Stupid treaty," I muttered. "I wish you knew how lucky you were that I wasn't biting your head off."

"First you invade my refuge, then you refuse to leave, then you insult me, and now you threaten my life. My luck continues to grow by leaps and bounds."

"You and the rest of your bloodsucking friends are the invaders," I argued.

"They are anything but my friends," he said disdainfully. "To Carlisle I would extend such a title, but the rest I could do without. Even the mongrel child everyone is so enthralled with, I will consider defending only because I owe Carlisle back for a century-old favor."

"So you think Nessie's little freak, too?" I smirked.

"I take it you don't share your brother's infatuation."

"No, but I care about her because Jacob cares about her," I clarified. "That's how it works in a pack. And I won't hesitate to kill any bloodsucker who poses a threat to her. Even the Volturi."

"You might feel differently if you'd seen them."

"Their guard came to our land once before," I said carelessly. "If they'd hurt the Cullens, we would've taken them out."

"If such a thing is truly within your power, I wish they had harmed the Cullens," he laughed. His laugh wasn't condescending at all. It was the way I laughed when I thought about Jacob defying Sam.

"Then you're not a fan of the Volturi?" I asked, a little surprised and very intrigued by his attitude. I'd heard Jacob's memories of the others talking about the Volturi, and they all seemed to regard them with a kind of reverence. _The policeman is our friend_ and all that.

"They're no more or less qualified to rule than any others of our kind," he shrugged. "Age and power do not equal wisdom and competency. That's why I choose the life of a nomad. My life is my own, ruled by no other."

"Must be nice," I shrugged. "Being alone for real has to be better than being alone in a pack."

"It is nice," he agreed. "I can go decades without speaking to another being."

"I can go days without having a thought to myself." I had finished the sandwich by now. I dropped the cloth napkin on the floor. Rosalie wouldn't miss it, and if the crumbs attracted mice, maybe Nessie could have one for a snack. "Speaking of which, I've got to get back to my pack before they send out a search party. Good luck keeping to yourself in this leech hotel."

"Luck has little to do with it," he said. "I find what I want, even if I'm not sure what that is. I wanted solitude, and I found this attic. If the attic becomes overrun, I'll find another sanctuary," he explained, annoyed by the very thought of this potential inconvenience.

"Try the bottom of the Pacific," I suggested.

"Don't think I haven't."

I opened the hatch to the stairway, preparing to leave. "By the way, what's your name?" I asked impulsively.

"Why?"

"I'll need it to find out if you've gone back to whatever bat cave you came from."

"You couldn't simply describe me?"

"You all look alike to me." Except for the Cullens, this was fairly accurate. Even them, I could only tell apart because they were so distinct in Jacob and Seth's minds.

"Alistair," he said with a surprising lack of reluctance. "And if I want to make sure you aren't around to invade my sanctuary and permeate it with that singularly repulsive scent?"

"Ask if Leah's around," I replied with a sardonic grin just before closing the hatch behind me.


	2. Chapter 2

Part Two

The pack was freaked out by the time I phased back, even though I hadn't been gone that long. I calmed them down quickly enough by explaining that I'd taken Esme up on her standing offer to raid her fridge. They all knew how much I hated eating raw animal flesh.

_Fine, but warn us next time,_ Sam ordered. _You could've been eaten for all we knew._

_One, I could take any of the Cullens' guests, and two, you would know. Pack mind, remember?_

_Who is Alastair?_ Sam demanded. _You didn't mention you had lunch with a vampire._

_Oh, chill, Sam. Jacob has lunch with vampires every freakin' day._

_Those vampires don't have red eyes,_ Sam said disapprovingly.

_Leah has a boyfriend,_ Seth sang with his ever-annoying cheerfulness.

_Seth, give your sister more credit,_ Sam ordered. _She knows better than to be fraternizing with one of _them.

_Yeah, give Seth's sister more credit,_ I snapped at Sam.

The rest of the path went into very manly wolf giggles as Seth led the junior high crowd in a chorus of _Leah and Alistair, sitting in an attic, k-i-s-s-i-n-(hey stupid, that doesn't rhyme!)_. I was about to hunt Seth down and bite him on his furry leg when I realized that not all of the aggravation in my mind was coming from _my_ mind. Darling little Seth. If I'd had a baton handy, I would've conducted the choir myself.

_Sam, there's no harm done,_ I laughed. _I'll warn you next time I make an unscheduled phase. Come on, let's get back to work._

_Right,_ Sam agreed, back to his stern, grim, Alpha self. _You, leave Leah alone, _he ordered the La Push Boys' Choir. Sadly, they had to obey.

That night when I phased back to sleep (scheduled, ha ha) I thought long and hard about how to plan my escape tomorrow. It would be worth it just for the food. For people who didn't eat, the Cullens sure knew where to get the best groceries in the area.

Of course, the real reason I wanted to go back was Alistair. I wasn't really attracted to him. Not in an OMG- I-hope-the-beautiful-brooding-bad-boy-likes-me! way, anyway. That didn't mean I couldn't recognize hotness when I saw it. And it didn't mean I couldn't enjoy Sam's reaction to that recognition. Consciously, Sam was happy with Emily and he wanted nothing more than for me to be happy with someone. I knew this. But subconsciously…this was the best day I'd had in a long time.

All the next day, I focused on running patrol, on listening to my pack, on making sure Seth was safe as always. Once I was within a good range of the leech hotel, I thought as casually and randomly as possible, _I'm going to raid the bloodsuckers' fridge. Any messages?_

_No, go ahead; Jacob and I had a briefing last night,_ Sam answered.

_Tell everyone I said hi!_ Seth piped up.

_With any luck, I won't get the opportunity._

Seth persisted, _Are you going to see your _boyfriend_?_

_Give it a rest, Seth,_ I laughed. _When I do get a boyfriend, I'll let you know._ Leaving Sam with that thought, I phased back and ran to the house at top speed.

A few of the guests could see me slip in through the back, but they ignored me. The kitchen was empty. By this time I had completely talked myself out of looking for Alistair. It seemed so pathetic. Sam wouldn't be annoyed; he'd either be amused or – worse – pitying. So I decided to just eat in the kitchen. Surely the werewolf scent would keep everyone out. No such luck. In came Rosalie to fill Nessie's bottle. "You'd think Jacob could do this," she grumbled as she poured the contents of a blood bag into the baby pink bottle. "You probably smell normal to him."

"Why didn't he?" I asked in between bites of some cold chicken with an incredible lemon marinade.

"He doesn't like to leave the baby alone with a house full of scary vampires," she said, making mock scary hands on the last two words. "I humor the mutt since he has to sleep eventually." She dramatically wrinkled her nose, making me wonder if she'd been a silent film star in a past life. "Honestly, Leah, you're welcome to use one of our hot tubs. No, on second thought, you'd only come out smelling like wet dog."

"Don't you think it's kind of a waste to own a hot tub when no one in your family bathes?" I criticized.

"People by the ocean own swimming pools," she shrugged. "It's just recreation. You should try it. Water, jet streams, bubbles, aromatherapy…"

"Sounds lovely, but I don't swing that way," I taunted. In a stage whisper, I asked, "Does Emmett know about this?"

"Hilarious, darling," she rolled her eyes. "I meant you alone, of course. You should be glad Alice left. It was only a matter of time before she'd have had you bound, gagged, and dragged to her suite for an emergency beautification. It's empty now. Esme refuses to put guests in there in case Alice and Jasper come back. Everyone is under orders to act as though the suite doesn't exist."

I could take a hint. Rosalie was tipping me off to a perpetually, inviolably empty room. I hastily collected my food and headed to Alice's suite. Once again, my house map stolen from Jacob's mind served me well.

Alice and Jasper's luxury suite looked like something out of a celebrity home photo shoot in InStyle. I sat down on a sleek, modern chair that looked like a quarter of an eggshell. It didn't take me long to finish my plate. I hesitated as I stood to leave. Curiously, I went to a door that had to lead to the bathroom.

Did I say "bathroom?" The place was a spa. The kind of spa normal people only ever saw on TV. A spa that was bigger than my living room, kitchen, and bathroom put together. I walked in. I couldn't help it. I sat on the edge of the marble whirlpool tub and looked around at all the accessories. Bubbles, scent pearls, bath salts, a waterproof satellite radio.

I had time. How long had it been since I'd felt like a girl in a good way?

A half hour later, I was drying myself off and slipping into one of Jasper's creamy silk robes. (Apparently these robes were disposable, judging by the fact that they were stored in what looked like a giant napkin dispenser. I opened the back and picked the one that smelled the least.) Mellow rock music played on the radio. The air was filled with the smell of honeysuckle, citrus, cloves, and steam. I could hardly tell there had been vampires living here. I went to the vanity to look at myself in the mirror. I looked as relaxed and satiated as I felt.

I noticed a jar of expensive hair product. I rubbed some between my fingers, trying to remember everything I'd ever read about styling a pixie cut. I hadn't really done much with my hair since I'd started cropping it. There. Not perfect, but pretty cute. Maybe even a little glam. I let my robe fall open a little bit and took a good, long look at my reflection to be idly replayed at a later time. I know, I know. Sam and Emily were a done deal. I didn't want him back and I didn't want him to want me back. But it wouldn't hurt to give him just a little reminder of what he was missing.

Laughing at myself and my ridiculous vanity, I spun out the door, gracefully fulfilling my intention of landing on Alice's bed. What I hadn't intended was to find anyone standing by one of the posts. From the look on his face, he hadn't expected company any more than I had.

"Alistair!" I gasped. I didn't know why I was embarrassed. I hardly thought anything of seeing or being seen by the boys in the pack in various stages of nudity anymore. But this…the steam, the robe, the radio playing "Love is a Battlefield", the bed with the red silk duvet…this was intimate. Vulnerable. Sensual. "What are you doing here?" I demanded, sitting up and crossing the robe up to my neck. "I thought you hung out in the attic."

"Three different Cullens came to the attic to 'make sure I was alright'," he complained. "I was looking for a new hideaway and my internal compass led me here. Logical, considering this room is supposed to be empty. So I must ask you again, why are _you_ here?"

"Just taking advantage of the Cullens' hospitality. You ought to try the whirlpool. The jet stream should blast that vampire stench right off you. Don't worry, you'll have the place to yourself as soon as I get my clothes back on." I started to stand, but he held my shoulder. I stood under his grip just to show him that I could, raising my hand to grip his shoulder as well. "First Blondie, now you," I smirked. "I'm just breaking hearts left and right today."

"Leah," he said, his manner full of irritated confusion, "how long have you been in this suite?"

"Too long," I said. "About forty-five minutes, I think."

"That's not possible," he said, more to himself than to me.

"Yeah, yeah, I still stink like werewolf, blah blah blah," I laughed him off. I was in a good mood, damn it, and I wasn't going to let any vampire's tired insults ruin that.

"No," he explained, his irritation now joined by awkwardness. I was beginning to recognize his irritation as the self-directed kind. Boy, did I know it well. "The best place for solitude would still have been the attic. My intuition should have been to stay there."

"What, your superpowers are getting weaker? You think someone in the house is using vampire kryptonite against you?" I mocked.

"It's worse than that, I'm afraid; far worse," he silently cursed as he glared at nothing in particular. "Don't you see? Apparently I didn't want to find solitude as much as I wanted to find _you_."

I was stunned. I had no idea how to respond to that. "But you don't even like me," I stammered at last.

"I don't like anyone!" he exclaimed. "But it would seem I dislike you least of all. I don't know what else it could be. Usually I'm only drawn to a person when I need something from them. I can't think of anything I could possibly need from a werewolf."

"Well, I can't think of anything I could possibly give a vampire, except a crushing defeat in battle," I snapped, but the words came out as a playful challenge rather than the biting retort I had meant them to be. We raised our free arms and gripped each other's shoulders. We stood there in silence, arms locked, stances locked, glares locked.

"What the hell," we said in unison.

Before I knew it, I was blissfully wedged between the silk duvet and the marble monster. I wrestled my way to the top, ripping off Alistair's black cashmere sweater with one stroke of my arm. In an instant he was straddling me, tearing my robe with his teeth. I pulled him down and crushed my lips to his, rolling back on top as I did. I had one arm pinning his chest to mine and the other running my fingers through his hair. He bit my collar bone. I couldn't feel pain through my euphoria. The bone was healing already as I sunk my teeth into shoulder.

Then it hit me.

"STOP," I hissed. "Stop," I repeated, more to myself than to him.

"As you wish, you damned impossible female," he growled, getting off me and putting some distance between us. Interesting. The serial killer did have some sense of honor. As we sat on opposite sides of the bed, panting, staring hungrily at each other, he demanded, "What is it? You didn't want to stop, I can tell."

"I should be dying right now," I half-whispered.

"You think I wanted to drink your blood? My magnificent wolverine, your blood tastes more animal than human, and unlike your friends here, I don't find that the least bit appetizing."

"I know that, idiot," I explained, "but your venom should be poison to me. Werewolves can't be turned like humans can. According to all our records, a werewolf bitten by a vampire dies instantly."

"Perhaps some werewolves have unique powers as do some vampires," he reasoned. "Is there anything about you that's different from all others in your pack?"

"A few things," I laughed bitterly. "You're looking at two of them."

"You're the only female in the pack?"

"Maybe the only one in Quileute history. None of the stories mention females."

"Fascinating," he murmured. "All this attention lavished on the Cullen child, and it appears you're every bit as unprecedented as she is."

"Thanks, I can never think of enough unfair things about my life," I snapped.

"Or not," he mused. "What if they left the females out of the story deliberately? Not as an act of misogyny, but to protect a secret weapon?"

"Our stories are already secret," I protested.

"How many vampires know of them?" he pointed out. "Carlisle's son can hear everything in your minds. Other gifted vampires aren't as benevolent as he. Don't you see how useful it would be in a battle if no one knew you were completely immune to the other side's ultimate weapon?"

"I don't know about _completely_ immune," I grumbled. "This thing's starting to sting like a mass mosquito attack."

Alistair sighed. "Well, I suppose that's it, then."

"I guess so," I shrugged, getting up and retrieving my clothes from the bathroom floor. "It was a nice thought."

"It was," he stared after me as I pulled them on.

In a second, he was beside me. We crushed our bodies together from the lips down. I jumped up to even the height difference, wrapping my legs around his hips. We stayed that way until we reached the door to the hallway, where we went our separate ways. The walk to the door was the slowest I'd ever seen a vampire move. The retreat from the door was the fastest.


	3. Chapter 3

Part Three

_WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!_

There were other voices in my head, of course. A few heckles and gags, mostly cheers, and retching noises from Seth. The voice of the Alpha drowned them all out. _Everyone, continue your rounds. Leah, phase and meet me._ I did as I was told. When I caught up to Sam, the first thing he did was inspect my vampire hickey. It was red and swollen, and it stung like hell. "Why?" Sam demanded.

"Is this going to happen every time I have date?" I retorted.

"Don't make this about us," Sam sternly insisted. "This is about you and – and one of _them_. I'm sure Jacob will feel the same way once he knows about this."

"There's nothing to know about," I insisted. "So I had a little fun this afternoon. I got to second base with a vampire. It's not like I'm going to marry the guy. It was just a fling, okay?"

"How do you know there's no harm done?" he protested, still staring at my bite. "Maybe the venom just affects females differently, kills them slower or something."

"Or differently in that it lets me know to put on some antiseptic but doesn't kill me," I argued.

"It's not just the bite," Sam said softly. He started to raise his hand toward my face, then stopped himself. "I know you. You aren't capable of having 'just a fling'. As hard is this is for you to believe, I still care about you. I don't want to see you get hurt, Lee-Lee."

I could feel the rage surge through my body. Every part of me burned, except my bite, which burned like cold metal against warm, wet skin. Focusing every drop of willpower on staying in form, I seethed, "Then stay out of my personal life and Don't Call Me That Again." I took off in the opposite direction. "I'm going for a run," I shouted over my shoulder. "Don't you dare order me to stop. I'll come back when I'm ready."

I ran human and alone for the rest of the afternoon. By way of doing my duty, I made sure my run was along my assigned patrol area. I'd still see a vampire if it showed up, and if I didn't think I could take it alone and human, it would be no problem to phase and call the others.

When my shift was over, I phased for a second, shouted _Still alive; heading home_, phased back, and ran to my house as usual. Mom wasn't home (her note said she was at Charlie Swan's place – big freaking surprise) and Seth was still on duty, so I made myself dinner and ate alone in front of the TV. I hadn't followed TV in ages, so I had no idea what I was watching. Doctors – flip – cops – flip – detectives – flip – some freaky sci-fi thing that made no sense if you hadn't seen the last ten seasons – flip – boring people with boring jobs – flip – annoying rich teenagers – flip – man, I really needed a better home library. Or cable.

With the TV off, I was alone with my thoughts. I wasn't particularly enjoying the experience. I played the day's events over and over in my mind. What _had_ I been thinking? Rebounding with a vampire? I had to be out of my mind. I took my plate to the sink and went to the medicine cabinet. After debating between the stuff for mosquito bites and the stuff for poison ivy, I went with the mosquito bites. I briefly entertained the thought of having Carlisle look at the bite if it was any worse tomorrow, but quickly shut that down. Seeing as there was nothing else to do, I went to bed.

The next day was pretty routine. I ignored everyone's thoughts and tried not to care whether or not they were extending me the same courtesy. I refused to even let myself think about phasing for lunch at Chez Cullen. I was getting awfully hungry, but I kept telling myself I could wait til dinner.

Which, apparently, I could. I was ravenous by the time I reached my (once again empty) kitchen. I took some of everything that looked remotely compatible and threw it in a frying pan. Once it was warm, I sat down in front of the TV and watched some show about a bitchy doctor and his model/assistants. I had to admit, it was entertaining. Maybe that doctor would know what to do about a vampire bite on a female werewolf.

When that was over, I showered, threw on a long oversized t-shirt that had been a casualty of Seth's growth spurt, and headed for my bed.

Which had an annoyed English vampire sitting on it.

"Why?" I groaned.

"I really, _really_ wish I knew," he grumbled. "I certainly didn't intend to seek you out. I merely felt an urge to leave Carlisle's house. I assumed the Volturi were on their way and my instincts were leading me to safety."

"And at what point did you realize your instincts must be pretty stupid if they thought safety could be found in a community of werewolves?"

"The shortest distance between two points is a straight line. I thought I was on the quickest course away from a particularly unpleasant vampire named Demetri. Then my compass kept pointing to this house. I couldn't figure out why until I noticed your name on a collection of school photographs in the hallway."

"You couldn't remember your way back to the Cullens'?" I snapped, thinking in spite of myself, _Ugh, he saw those pictures?_

"I tried, honestly I did," he protested. "But these instincts are very difficult to override. I often find it isn't worth the trouble."

"What won't be worth the trouble is if my mother gets home," said Leah. "She can't kill you, so she'll probably settle for me. Oh, and she isn't a wolf, so she might not smell as unappetizing as I do. And if you hurt my mother, I _will_ kill you. I'll be picking your ashes out of my teeth for days."

"Can't you call and tell her you want the house to yourself?" he said with a sly, sardonic grin. "Or does Mummy still think her little girl is-"

"Mom would be thrilled if I started dating again," I said honestly. "But this isn't dating. This is more like, I don't know, mutual stalking with occasional making out."

"Mutual?" he repeated. "So you did come back to Carlisle's for me?"

"No! Well, kind of…not really…I…I don't know. Look, I just don't want to be personally responsible for breaking our alliance with the Cullens. Jake would never forgive me, which means I'd be stuck with Sam for the rest of my life. Not to mention people could die and stuff."

"Why is being with Sam worse than being with Jake?"

"It's complicated," I said shortly. He pondered this for a moment. Then he picked up a photo album from my nightstand, an album that had been shoved at the bottom of the drawer for months. "You went through my stuff?!" I exclaimed, sliding next to him to grab the album out of his hand. He didn't let go, so I did for the sake of keeping it intact.

He pulled out a picture from my junior year of high school. One third of a picture, to be more precise. It was a rare sunny day at the beach. My long hair was in a pony tail. My face was beaming. My arms were cut off, but my shoulders looked like they were raised, as though I had each arm around something. I remembered both the day the picture was taken and the day it went from widescreen to full screen all too clearly. I had thought about destroying the whole thing, but it was a good picture of me. I looked at it whenever I wanted to remember what I looked like when I was happy. That wasn't too often.

Alistair turned the picture over. "'Milly, Leah, Sam: 20-' the date's cut off," he read the caption through my attempt at scribbling it out.

"Emily," I corrected. "It wasn't his fault," I said robotically, compelled to defend my own to this outsider, this enemy. "There was no choice. He imprinted on her. You can't understand what that's like. Nothing you ever felt for anyone else matters anymore."

"You deserve better," he said, placing a cool hand on my thigh. "And that's saying alot, because I never think anyone deserves anything – anything good, at least."

"If I deserve it, why don't I have it?" I wondered aloud. "Why didn't Sam or any of them imprint on me?"

"Why didn't you imprint on them?" Alistair shrugged. "Maybe none of them are good enough for you. Had you thought of that?"

No. I hadn't. Maybe…no. "Then why can't I have children?" I pointed out.

"A lot of bloody good you'd be to your pack if you had children," he snickered. "Look at your brother. He's so wrapped up in that little mutant that he had to hand you off to Sam. What do you think it would be like for a mother and cub? You're probably too valuable to lose that way."

I couldn't say anything after that. Gently, firmly, I pulled his face to mine and kissed him. We wrapped our arms around each other and held each other tightly, tenderly, with none of the ferocity of the day before. I kissed his neck. He kissed my hair. I ran my fingers along his shoulders. He stroked the small of my back. We went on like that for awhile – not being careful, not trying to spare the other from our strength, just following our mood. It was exactly what I needed.

I opened my eyes for a brief moment and caught a glimpse of the bright red numbers on my ancient digital alarm clock. "You need to go," I whispered.

"Do you want me to?" he murmured, slowly running his smooth chin along the side of my neck.

"Not really," I said reluctantly. "But I should kick you out before Mom or Seth get back."

"If that's best for you," he said with equal reluctance.

"I'll stop by the Cullens' tomorrow," I promised. "Go." We kissed goodbye, and without another word I was alone again.

I did stop by the Cullens' the next day. There was Alistair, hiding out in the attic. I don't know what exactly we talked about. Families, pasts, total randomness. Sometimes we didn't talk at all. We just sat there, knowing that we'd rather be alone than with anyone else in the world, but we'd rather be with each other than alone. That's how I spent my unofficial lunch break every day for the next week.

Then one day Alistair wasn't there. At first I was furious. Then I remembered that his eyes had been decidedly black the day before. He must have left to hunt. And then I was furious again.

He was back the next day, his eyes bright crimson. "You were gone yesterday," I said hesitantly.

"Yes, I was," he answered indifferently.

"Jacob says it takes awhile for red eyes to change to golden," I said hopefully.

"But it takes hardly any time at all for black to change to red," he said.

"Goodbye," I said, turning to leave. I deserved every cruel thought the pack had thrown my way. Leech-lover. Vampire girl. Bride of Dracula. Accomplice. Party to murder. I deserved the death that should have been mine when that creature bit me. Why was I able to walk away with only this freeze-branded scar as a reminder of my stupidity?

"Leah, stop," he grabbed my wrist.

"Don't you touch me!" I growled, twisting my hand away.

"A number of ladies of the evening now have no one to report to, and I'll be full for at least a fortnight," he said, positioning himself over the hatch. "Everyone wins."

"You murdered a human being so you could drink his blood," I seethed, making every effort to stop the trembling. "I don't care if he was Osama bin Laden. Well, okay, maybe – actually that's an interesting – oh, what am I saying? The point is, once you start rationalizing murder, where does it stop?"

"When I've eaten my fill, which I have for the time being."

"Well, I've had my fill of you and your kind," I declared. "From now on, I stay away from here and you stay away from me."

"Do you have to be so dramatic?" he rolled his eyes. "For the sake of keeping your brothers from launching a full assault on this house, what if I promise to not hunt again until I leave Carlisle for good?"

I couldn't believe I was actually considering the blood drinker's terms, but I didn't have any reason to doubt his word. He had always been honest with me, no matter how revolting I found the truth.

"Leah, please." Once again I could hear myself in his voice. On the surface was frustration, sarcasm, impatience, but if you looked close enough, you could see a curious vulnerability. Why was my company so important to him? For that matter, why was his so important to me? Somehow we had gone from antagonists to lovers in about twenty-four hours. What if…?

"Give me some time to think about it," I sighed. "I'll come back tomorrow and let you know if I agree to your terms. In the meantime, I need to get away from here."

"Tomorrow then," he said with studied apathy as he stepped away from the hatch.

Once I was on the stairs, I silently screamed, _Edward!_ He should hear me just fine. Bella and Nessie were gone for the day, so he wouldn't have them to preoccupy him. _EDWARD! Tell Dr. Fang I need to see him in his office, alone, NOW. Don't send anyone else. Just Carlisle. I need a doctor._


	4. Chapter 4

Part Four

"Leah," Carlisle greeted me with concern as he entered his office. "What's the matter? Edward said you needed a doctor."

"What do you make of this?" I pointed to the red, puffy scar on my clavicle.

"It looks more like an allergy than an infection," he observed. "What bit you? Were you in human or wolf form when it happened?"

"What do you think did this?" I said cautiously.

"I can't do much for you without a good patient history," he said. "I need to know what bit you and how long ago it happened."

"Would you believe it was a vampire a week and a half ago?" I mumbled.

"I have a houseful of very anxious guests, and I really don't have time for practical jokes," he frowned.

"It's not a joke," I insisted. "And I wasn't attacked," I hastily clarified. "I came in for lunch one day – you can ask Rosalie – and I sort of hooked up with one of your guests. As you can see, things got a little rough. Don't worry, it was as much my idea as his."

"The bite pattern looks right," he marveled. "But this doesn't make sense. So long ago…you should either be dead or turned." He went about swabbing, poking, and magnifying my bite. "Of course, you are the only female," he said more to himself than to me.

"That's what I was thinking," I said. "And anyway, I wanted to ask you – this is kind of embarrassing, but I don't know who else to ask-"

"Don't be embarrassed," he said comfortingly. "I'll treat whatever you say with full doctor/patient confidentiality."

"Jacob said new vampires have an inherent bond with their creator," I started. "Do you think it's possible that this vampire's bite could have affected me that way, even though I wasn't turned?"

"Anything is possible," said Carlisle. "Have you felt an irrational compulsion to be near this person, a reliance on his company and guidance? Does his opinion seem to hold more weight in your decisions than that of other people in your life?"

"The irrational part, maybe," I agreed. "But the rest doesn't sound right. It's not like I see him as some kind of Yoda. And I can tell if something he says sounds stupid. You know, the more I think about it, the compulsion seems to be more on his part. He sought me out the two days I didn't visit him."

"I don't think it's a creation bond, then," Carlisle shook his head thoughtfully. "Have you considered that you're spending time with him because you're attracted to him in a normal human way? Love is seldom rational. A lot of people would find it difficult to name exactly what first attracted them to their mates."

"I was afraid of that," I sighed. "By the way, what's the verdict on the bite?"

"I'll run some tests, but I don't think you're in danger," he said. "Try this ointment," he wrote something on a piece of paper, "and come back and see me any time tomorrow. Just page my receptionist and I'll be in my office," he chuckled.

"Thanks," I said with grudgingly genuine gratitude. Hm. Witch hazel. Mom always had some on hand. I'd always thought of her herb lore as an embarrassing stereotype.

"And, look," he smiled encouragingly, "I'm not suggesting anything long-term, but if you're happy and Randall's happy, give it a chance."

"Who's Randall?" I wrinkled my forehead.

"The only single man in my house who isn't an ancient Romanian," he said slowly, now with an apprehensive edge in his voice.

"Alistair has a mate?" I snarled, knocking over the exam table. Carlisle caught it before it could clatter to the floor.

"Alistair?" He dropped the table. "Dark-haired, British, haunts my attic Alistair? _He's_ the man in your story?"

"It never occurred to me that he wasn't single," I protested.

"He is," said Carlisle. "As long as I've known him, he's been the very definition of a confirmed bachelor. There have been a few random dalliances with vampire women, but nothing like what you've just described. I suppose I didn't think of him because I've never known him to be capable of such an affair. Just to be clear, _he_ sought _you_ out – _twice_?"

"Yeah, but not on purpose. His compass led him to me or some bloodsucker mumbo jumbo."

"Think carefully: did he bite you before or after he sought you out the first time?"

"After," I said. "The first time he found me was when he did it. And it wasn't really a deliberate thing. Like I said, we just got carried away. And we didn't actually have sex, in case you needed to know that. You didn't need to know that," I babbled, becoming more flustered and confused by the second.

"Actually, it confirms my theory," said Carlisle. "I do need to know this: you were engaged in foreplay when this happened, weren't you?"

"Yes," I answered frankly, "but like I said, it didn't go anywhere. We stopped because of my bite, and then we just kissed."

"And what about physical activity since then?"

"Just kissing," I repeated, though I knew that was a bit of an understatement. "Once I was able to clear my head, I realized I'm still not ready. Sam was my first and only, you know." I had a feeling that, between Jacob and Edward, my history was as much of an open book around here as it was in the pack.

"Has Alistair propositioned you?"

"No, he's been a real gentleman in his own way. I don't know if it's his compass or what, but he always seems to know just what I need. Physically, emotionally, whatever." As I said these words, it occurred to me that maybe my attraction to him wasn't so irrational after all. For the first time, I almost felt I understood why Emily had fallen in love with Sam.

"I don't think it's his compass," Carlisle said with an incredulous chuckle. "I'm starting to think it isn't a vampire trait at all."

I was hardly listening. Something in my own thoughts hit me with sudden realization. How _Emily_ felt.

"Leah, have you considered-"

"He imprinted on me."

I thanked Carlisle and ran back upstairs to the attic. I didn't need a day. I knew right now that, whatever we were doing, however short a time it was meant to last, I didn't want it to end a second sooner than it had to. I told Alistair exactly that as soon as I was with him again. I told him everything Carlisle had told me. Alistair thought our theory made perfect sense. Why shouldn't imprinting work opposite in females as it did in males?

One thing he didn't say was what exactly he intended to do about this – specifically, how long he intended to stay. I didn't bring it up. I didn't care about the future, at least not as much as I cared about the present.

I visited Alistair every day after that. He offered to visit me, too, but I decided it would be best if he didn't so my mother wouldn't get suspicious. The whole pack knew about us, of course, but we had agreed to keep it from the Elders.

Alistair kept his word not to hunt again. A couple times I suggested we hunt game together, but he refused, insisting he didn't have the taste for animal blood. Besides, he didn't want to start associating my scent with food.

All in all, everything was just a little too good to be true. Until Christmas Eve.


	5. Chapter 5

Part Five

After making out for awhile under a dried sprig of real English mistletoe that Alistair had found among Carlisle's archives, Alistair said, "Leah, I need to ask you something."

"What?"

"Would you be willing to run away with me? Far away? To places that aren't even on human maps?"

"Why don't we start with some places that are on the maps?" I smiled, indulging in a moment of fantasy. "Venice, Rome, Paris? I could be an American werewolf in London," I laughed at my own lame joke.

"I'm dead serious," he said, turning my face to his so I could see how true this was. "The Volturi are coming soon. I can feel it. Carlisle thinks they can be reasoned with, but he's wrong. They aren't trying to keep order; they're trying to keep control. They will kill everyone who stands between them and the child and everyone who bears witness to their atrocity. I don't want you and me to be among that number."

I jumped to my feet. "Are you suggesting we abandon the Cullens to save our skins like that little bloodsucking pixie?" I demanded. "That I leave my pack to defend Jacob and Nessie without me?"

"You don't even like the Cullens, 'Nessie' included!" he argued. "And as for Jacob, he's certainly abandoned you, hasn't he? He'll do it again, every time that demon spawn's needs conflict with those of the pack. It seems to me that he hasn't turned out to be so very different from Sam after all."

"You don't get it, do you? You have no concept at all of what it is to be part of a pack. I could hate those guys and their imprintees more than life itself, but I will fight to the death to defend them because, like it or not, they are a part of me. I _can't_ leave them behind any more than I could leave my arm or my leg."

"But you would force me to leave my heart."

"I'm not forcing you to do anything," I said.

"I won't stay here to die; to watch the only people I've come close to caring about die," he insisted.

"Well, it's so nice to know that you've come close to caring about me," I said. "I'm going home. Sam gave me an extra long break today so I can wrap Christmas presents. I wish I didn't have to go to the Swans' stupid party tomorrow. I'm just about broke from all the presents I had to get this year. Mom, Seth, the whole pack, Charlie, Bella, Nessie – I drew the line there. The Cullens have plenty of money to spend on Edward."

"So they do," Alistair nodded approvingly. "And they still will if Bella ever becomes your stepsister. You went much further than I would have."

"Too bad you don't Christmas shop," I cracked a sarcastic little smile in spite of my determination to stay mad at him. "Vampire skills would come in pretty handy on Black Friday. Even my werewolf skills made shopping a little easier this year."

He reached under a dresser and pulled out a small, festively-wrapped box. "I picked this up when I was in Oregon," he said unceremoniously. "I don't have the kind of money Carlisle does, but I saw this in a pawn shop window and…oh, just open the bloody thing."

Inside the box was an antique bronze pendant on a silk cord. At the center of the pendant was a working compass.

"It's beautiful," I said softly, admiring the markings that looked like something off an ancient map. "Of course, I can't wear this at work – one wrong phase and it'd be lost forever. I'll hang it up in my room." Neither of us spoke the missing ending of that sentence: _To remember you after you're gone_. I almost wished I had something to give him, but what was the use? If I mattered that much to him, a memento wouldn't even be an issue. Alistair's compass wasn't like the one in my hand. This one had a constant. No matter where in the world it was, it would always point north. Alistair's compass pointed to whatever he wanted to find. Which I guess wouldn't always be me.

The next day was Christmas. I didn't see Alistair. Even if I had wanted to, there was no time. My family; Jacob's pack; Sam and Emily; and Bella, Edward, and Nessie were all due to spend the day at Charlie Swan's house. Mom brought food, the Cullens brought presents for everyone, and us werewolves brought our festive selves. I couldn't help getting caught up in the atmosphere. Before long, I was hanging out with my pack, joking about the upcoming fight without directly mentioning it for Charlie's sake. I was just as caught up in the adrenaline rush as any of the guys. Let the fight come. Let every damn vampire in Italy come. I'd be ready for them, ready to defend my people side by side with my brothers. This was family. This was love. This was all I needed to be happy.

I broke away from the pack for a minute to get a third helping of food. Jacob came over to me, carrying Nessie. "Nessie wants to tell you something," he said. That was obvious. She was holding one hand out toward my cheek and clutching the Count von Count plushie I'd given her in the other.

"Nessie can talk," I replied shortly. Nessie's face fell, and I felt like a monster. "Oh, go ahead," I grumbled. She smiled again and put her chubby white hand to my cheek. I saw her opening the present (which I had ignored when it had actually happened) and feeling both happy and curious. I heard Bella explain that the little purple dude was a vampire on a kids' TV show. Nessie asked if she could watch the show, and Bella reluctantly agreed. Ha. Bella and Edward were probably too cultured to expose their kid to something like Sesame Street. I felt Nessie's childlike excitement about getting to watch a new TV show. Score one for Aunt Leah. Nessie took her hand away and hugged the doll. "You're welcome," I half-smiled.

Nessie put her hand to my face again. I saw a picture of the two of us sitting in front of the Cullens' TV, which had the Count onscreen. "Sure, kid, I'll watch TV with you sometime," I agreed. "After things settle down and your house isn't so crowded."

The rest of the day was a lot more fun than I thought it would be. Not nearly as lame as I'd expected. No, it was exactly as lame as I'd expected. But it was lame the way a big, loud, crowded, awkward, happy family Christmas is supposed to be lame. On the drive home, I couldn't help thinking about how much I'd enjoy recounting the whole thing for Alistair tomorrow.

If he was still there.


	6. Chapter 6

Part Six

He wasn't. Carlisle confirmed that Alistair had left for good, citing the same reasons he'd given me. I was sad, but not really disappointed. I had seen this coming. When I went home that night, I stared at the compass I'd hung on my wall, debating whether or not to take it down. In the end, I left it up. Hadn't I put it there knowing he was about to leave? Knowing his compass wouldn't always point to me? Knowing that, however much he cared about me (and I really believed he did), I wasn't his north star. Not because of any particular defect on my part, but because no one could be. I left the compass on my wall to remind me that, even though Sam had been my first love, he wouldn't be my last.


	7. Chapter 7

Part Seven

It was a hot summer afternoon. My school day was over, and I was ready for a break. "Hey, Leah," one of my new girlfriends called from the parking lot. "You want a ride home?"

"No thanks; I'd rather walk," I called back. Once I was far enough from the community college campus, I phased and headed for the Cullens' house. I changed back just before I got to their driveway.

"Aunt Leah!" Nessie cried as she ran down the driveway to meet me. She was much bigger now, about the same size as a five or six year old. Thanks to my werewolf strength, I could still pick her up with no problem. "Aunt Alice said you were probably coming today, so I TiVo'd _Sesame Street_," she said excitedly. "And I TiVo'd lots of _Wizards of Waverly Place_ too. Mom can't believe I like the Disney Channel," she giggled. "But it's okay to like Disney _and_ Shakespeare, isn't it?"

"Sure it is," I grinned. "I'm reading some Shakespeare stuff for one of my classes, and it's actually pretty cool once you get the story."

"I can help you with your homework after we watch TV," Nessie offered.

"Thanks," I rolled my eyes.

After TV had been watched and English Lit homework had been done, I headed back to my empty house. Pretty soon it would be _my_ house. Mom was going to move in with Charlie after the wedding. Seth would officially live with them, but he'd still have school on the reservation and his wolf pack stuff, so I imagined he'd be crashing with me a lot.

As I came to the doorstep, I was surprised by the smell of vampire. None of the Cullens would come over without my permission, would they? Okay, except for that time Alice had given my room an Extreme Home Makeover my first day at school. Cautiously, I opened the door.

There was Alistair, sitting on the couch watching my _House, M.D.: Season 2_ DVDs as though all of this was perfectly ordinary. As though he hadn't disappeared without a trace so many months ago. As though I hadn't accepted the fact that I was never going to see him again.

I sat down next to him in the same manner. "It's not sarcoidosis," I commented at the TV. "It's never sarcoidosis."

"Apparently it's never lupus, either," he nodded.

"I take it you've watched a few of these."

"Had to do something while I waited." He turned toward me ever so casually. "What do you think the esteemed Dr. House would say to a vampire's irises changing from red to golden?"

"After running slightly illegal tests for days, almost killing you in the process, and insulting the hell out of his staff, he'd finally figure out that the vampire had made a significant dietary change," I said.

"You don't think he could tell that in the first ten seconds, like one of these in-and-out clinic patients?"

"No," I dismissed. "It wouldn't occur to him that the vampire had sufficient motivation to do something like that."

"That lovely Dr. Cameron might come to such a conclusion, though," he suggested. "She'd probably think he did it because he was in love with a human, or perhaps even a werewolf," he scoffed.

"That's Cameron," I agreed. "She'd think they could live happily ever after, even with the vampire/werewolf thing, the personality thing, the flakey internal compass thing…yep, love conquers all in Cameronworld," I mocked.

"Will you rewind this scene?" he handed me the remote. "I never could work these things properly. I've missed a good deal of dialogue, and I do want to see how this episode turns out. If you've seen it before, don't tell me how it ends."

I rewound the scene. I had seen the episode before, and I had half a mind to spoil it for him. For some reason, I decided against it. As I leaned back and curled up next to him, I thought, _This is the scene where Cameron's right._

THE END

**Author's Note:** Fans of House, M.D. will note that this story was written before the character assassination that is Season 6.


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